More than you wanted or cared to know...

I realize this is insignificant to everyone,
EXCEPT for me. but, since I am prone to
whining and have no pain tolerance I
have the need to document what I call
the "dress incident". . .

I bought this dress several months
before our scheduled trip. I wanted to
wear something "hawaiian-y" to the
Luau, so when I saw this low cut,
flowered dress it was
instant love. . .

Fast-forward to the Luau.
We had no sooner arrived at the
Luau when the pre-Luau program
began. Canoes full of dancing Hula
woman began to shake & gyrate
to their native drums. It was beautiful!
I climbed up on a ledge so I could see
a bit better.
Then it happened - PAIN!!

Ouch!
Ouch!
Ouch!. again.

Owwwwww!

I began to shake & gyrate like
the Hula girls, while shoving
my right hand into the front of my
dress to get at the PAIN!!

Finally I pulled a HUGE, HAWAIIAN,
KILLER, STING-Y CREATURE
from my bossom, but not before
it had stung me three times!
Once mid-chest (photo),
once on the side of said boobie,
and then under my arm!

I was wounded.
"911"
I needed young, handsome paramedics
to tend to me, to dress my wounds.
I needed to be examined and observed.

The moral of this story:
Medical care is hard to find
when there are young,
buxom, bootie shaking Hula girls around.

*Don't say I didn't warn you!*

The Beauty...and the Beastly

Some of the natural BEAUTY of Hawaii.

No words necessary.

Now, some of the "Beastly" strange sights
this tourist saw with her very own eyes -

Did we really need to see this?
However, it seems they are quite proud of
this in Hawaii.

  * * * * * * * * *

"Poi", anyone?
I'd heard of this native food.
It doesn't taste bad.  It doesn't taste good.
It really has no taste, IMO.

  * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My husband being "lei'd" right before my eyes.
We paid $35 for a "lei greeting"...
I envisioned a beautiful, young, Hawaiian
girl doing the honors; instead we got a
stout, middle-aged woman bearing
flowers.  LOL

   * * * * * * * * * * * *

I bought this "special" dress to wear
to the Luau. 
*Remember* this dress.
I will post about this dress
tomorrow.

  * * * * * * * * * *

Look closely at this beautiful plant.
It is called the Native Hawaiian Penis Plant.
I don't know what the locals call it,
but that's what my husband named it.
Look at the protrusion in the middle
of the plant.  *giggle

   * * * * * * * * *

"Barney Purple Bread"
We were served this several times.
Poi is a part of the recipe for this
dinner bread, which give it the
purple color.  It tastes exactly
like a typical good yeast roll.
Yummy!

   * * * * * * * *

Crazed Louisiana Hula Wanna-Be
after "the dress incident".
Obviously she had been
"affected".

   * * * * * * * * *

Check out this Tour Guide's EAR!!
It flips up...have you ever seen such a thing???
I don't think the photo really does it
justice...My husband thinks I became
obcessed with this guy's ear, but
we Bloggers live for this kind of stuff, huh?!

   * * * * * * * * *
I've LOVED re-living these moments,
the Beauty...and the Beastly,
as I shared them with you.
Thanks for comin' along for the ride!
                   "Aloha"

Paradise Lost (sort of)

Good Mother I am.
Hubby and I were having a beachy time in Hawaii. . .

. . .when dh received a "911" text
from Princess, who was having a
not-so-beachy-time in Guatemala
on a mission trip.

Her text: "Very sick. Want to come
home now and go to the doctor".
Be still my heart.
My child is ill in a 3rd world country.

Vomiting, diahrria, and fever, "oh my" !
We had lots of phone calls from the Youth Leader.
17 of the 37 student travelers were ill.
Princess' fever spiked to 103 at times.
By the time we picked her up from the airport.
36 hours later. she was beginning to feel better,
but still running a temperature.
I took her to the doctor today.
The bad news: She tested positive for Swine Flu.
The good news: The worst is over;
she should be completely well in 48 hours.

Nothing says "Welcome Home" quite like the Swine Flu.
Hubby and I began our Tamiflu regimen this evening.

It feels like 100 years since we were in Hawaii.

Aloha, Ya'll!

`A `ole i piliwi `îa
Kahi wai a`o `Alekoki
Ua ho`o kohu ka ua i uka
Noho maila i Nu`uanu

Anuanu makehewa au
Ke kali ana i laila
Ka inô paha ua pa`a
Kou mana`o i `ane`i

I don't know what the heck this song means but I'm singing it as I leave this bit of Paradise today.  What a great time I've had and I have the aching sore feet "leaolafeetokamo's"  to prove it.  Ah, but still a smile on my face for the wonderful experience I have had on the island.  Who knew a second honeymoon could be so much fun?!!  *blush

Flight leaves a bit later and I've got a few more souveniers to buy between now and then.
Prepare yourself for "way too many" photos to be posted when I get home.
You can't say you weren't warned!
Aloha!

Aloha!

Today's the day. . .
"Ready or not,
here we come,
HAWAII!

We're packed!

-

-

MaMa's special little "Happy Pills" are in her pocket
to be used on the long flight!

-

-

-

I even bought a new nightie,
as this is a second honeymoon of sorts.

-

-

-

Bring on the gorgeous beaches
and blue water. . .

-

-

-

And get me some Hawaiian concoction
that will make me feel like I was born here.

-

-

-

But, please...
Don't let me return home lookin' like this!

Aloha!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

I'm making a list

and checking it a bazillion times twice...

Fa-La-La-La-Laaaa

La-La-La-la

Yes, it is beginning to look a lot like Christmas at our house.

Ye old Piggy Bank has seen better days.

We've had pizza

too many nights in a row.

And I need sleep.

It's not December?
You're kidding!!

Then it must be VACATION TIME!!

I've been BUSY trying to pack Princess for a church mission trip to Guatamala (they even have to take their own TP, along with "poo bags". I'm not kidding...Then later that SAME DAY hubby & I are off on our own fun, pampered, 7 day Polynesian soire' mission trip to Hawaii. Hey, Hawaiian folks love God too ya know.

I just wonder why sometimes it's so much darn work to arrange to have some fun.

I'm beat.
And I hate to fly, I can hardly wait!!
I simply wish there was a bridge to Hawaii.

Suzy Homemaker

For some reason I woke up this morning feeling like "Suzy Homemaker" - it surely must be a hormonal thang, ya think? Anyway before the mood passes I want to share a couple of my favorite tips - and if you already know these things, just don't tell me. Kay?

I do love me a ripe banana,
but even I must admit
these are a bit over-ripe.
When the fruit gnats start
circling the dish that's a sure
sign the fruit has seen better days.

Truth be told, these are frozen bananas.
Once they are too ripe I pop them into
the freezer to be used another day for
baking. I nuke them till thawed; cut
an opening in one end and squeeze on
the other. OUT pops yummy banana
goosh (it truly looks like yellow poop),
ready to be mashed and used in baking
Banana Bread. Great way to use bananas
that would other wise fill your trash.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ALSO -I love this and I know you will to!!
Check out http://www.redishade.com/craft_14.html

The entire site is full of creative ideas using the inexpensive redi-shades which you can buy at Lowes or Home Depot. I would love to try this, but have no place in my home right now which needs a new window treatment. But I'm thinking some of you, especially if you have young kids, will love this idea. That's me - always thinking of you. Yes I know, I'm quite the Humanitarian. (my Mom would faint if she knew this, cuz she thinks I'm Baptist)

Don't know why I'm in "nesting" mode.
I'm actually on the count down to vacation.
Next week at this time I should be in
"HAWAII"!

Southern Life

Behold a little glimpse of Heaven.

Actually, this is my "dream" porch.

When I am elected President
I will mandate that everyone
be given a front porch like
this one...But till then,
you'll almost feel like you're
sitting on this porch sippin'
Sweet Tea from your favorite
glass when you read the gentle words
of Mrs. Patricia Neely-Dorsey
from Reflections of a Mississippi Magnolia-A Life In Poems

SOUTHERN LIFE

If you want a glimpse of Southern life,
Come close and walk with me;
I'll tell you all the simple things,
That you are sure to see.

You'll see mockingbirds and bumblebees,
Magnolia blossoms and dogwood trees,
Caterpillars on the step,
Wooden porches cleanly swept;

Watermelons on the vine,
Strong majestic Georgia pines;
Rocking chairs and front yard swings,
Junebugs flying on a string;

Turnip greens and hot cornbread,
Coleslaw and barbecue;
Fried okra, fried corn, fried green tomatoes
Fried pies and pickles too.

There's ice cold tea that's syrupy sweet,
And cool, green grass beneath your feet;
Catfish nipping in the lake,
And fresh young boys on the make.

You'll see all these things
And much, much more,
In a way of life that I adore.

Copyright 2008 Patricia Neely-Dorsey from
Reflections of a Mississippi Magnolia-A Life In Poems

Oops! Communication Malfunction!

Sometimes you just need a new start,

a new beginning,
a do-over,
a place where NOBODY knows your name.
After the events of yesterday evening I find myself looking for a big hole to crawl into for at least a year or so. Know what I mean???

It began innocent enough.
Dh and I went to a party; he left early
and I stayed a bit longer. He said, "Call me when you're ready to come home and I'll come get you". An hour passed.
I called.
Priness answered the phone.
"Tell your Daddy to come and get me. I'm ready."
She mumbled something incoherant.
"Tell your Daddy to come and get me!"
More mumbling and a disconnect.
Soooo - I called my husband on his cell, "Come and get me".
He did.

Upon arriving home Princess met me at the door.
"What's going on?", she asked.

When the story finally was unraveled it seems I had been the victim of an embarassing "communication malfunction". When placing my original call it seems I had accidently pushed "Hannah" on the phone menu, rather than "Home". While I thought I was talking to Princess I was actually talking to her best friend requesting that she tell her Daddy to "come get me, cause I was ready".

Which of these looks do you think will work best for me?

OR

OR

OR

I'm not sure what a well-dressed

Witness Protection Fashionista

is wearing these days.

F-R-E-E!

I'm telling you this because you're
my BEST-EST Bloggy Friend -
You can get FREE SWEET TEA.
I do not lie.
Sweet Tea is serious liquid to we G.R.I.T.S.
The only thing better than Sweet Tea
is "FREE SWEET TEA"!
Mark your calendar cause you can get
you some on July 23!!
If you've never had McAlister's Sweet Tea you're in for a real treat!

You can thank me later!

Well said.

My take on the issues of the day -
"Life is fragile, use it wisely
and enjoy every moment."

speling woh's!

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
                     * * * * * * * * * * *

wen i wz n skool i wz a gewd speler,
untl i tooq shoert haend.
It ruened mi speling.

Nw txting es ruening r
keds speling.

do u uhgree?

Look what I did!

How proud I am of my country,
only followed secondly by how
proud I am of ME for following
the directions per-fect-ly to
make this beautiful cake for
my family and friends
to enjoy. It was a lot of hard
work and I made a total mess
of the kitchen, but it was Soooo
worth it.
"Don't hate me cause you ain't me!".

OK. I confess.
I lied, except for the part about the
kitchen being a total mess.
But, maybe I could have made
this cake if I had tried.
You don't know!

The BIG question -
"What are you doing to
celebrate July 4th?"

A Foul Tail which "ends" well

It began as just a slight bit of doggy-needs-a-bath odor.
So I took my beloved Kramer to the Groomer for a spa day.
He came home with his summer do, "butt" he still smelled.

I grumbled about the Groomer who had obviously not done a proper job of bathing my little guy. GRRRR. I hooked up the hose and persuaded my husband (who was not particularly enthusiastic about the "hole" process) to join me on the patio and hold Kramer bottom side up as I gave his hiney a proper washing.

Poor husband.
Poor me.
Poor Kramer.

Still he stunk so badly we could hardly stand to be in the room with him - Kramer, not my husband. Sorry dear!

The next day we were off to see the Vet.

OH NO!
RUN. KRAMER. RUN.
I can tell you from experience that procedures which begin with a gloved hand NEVER "end" well.

Being the good doggie Mom I am, I stayed for the procedure.
Girls, the smell was so foul that my eyes watered and at one point I grabbed tissues to cover my nose. Kramer was wide-eyed, "butt" a good sport about the whole thing.
I thought a treat was in order.

It was delicious.