Wednesday, August 6, 2014


Sometimes blogging serves as my therapy.
Today is one of those days.
You've been warned.

Doctor:  So, Ms. Sweet Tea, what seems to be bothering you today?

Sweet Tea:  Let's begin with the fact that my toe is killing hurting me.  I have jammed it, or broken it, and it hurts with most every step I take.  *whine  *whine


we're going on a road trip next week to see lots of our extended family to celebrate a carload of birthdays and meet our newest little "grand niece" (my term) and to take my Mom for an extended visit with my sister.

Doctor:  So Ms. Tea, those sound like happy occasions, so why the long face?

Sweet Tea:  Doctor, you know I hate road trips, but even putting that aside, my Mom finds the process of going for a visit both bitter & sweet.  She likes the thought of visiting my Sister, but also feels that neither of us "want her".  This breaks my heart.  Everyone tells me that we must have breaks from time to time since we are full time Caregivers.  I know that's right, but it makes for guilt on my part. . .Once Mom knows she is going for a visit she begins to over think it and obsess, like dementia patients do.  Then the constant barrage of questions and insinuations begin.  Over and over and over and over...Did I mention that my toe is in a vice?  Well, it feels like it...Mom doesn't understand that she has dementia and that the court has ruled that she must live with me and have extended visits with my sister periodically.  This ruling allows her to stay out of a nursing home.  Doctor, she views us (my sister and I) as mean children who won't let her live in her home.  Of course there is a part of me which wants desperately to reason/explain to her what the issues are.  Perhaps she'd feel differently if she could understand, but that's just it.  She can't understand or reason, so this will go on for the entire next week until she actually arrives at my Sisters.  *sigh*  I love my Mom and it's so frustrating that she can't see that. . .Thanks for listening, Doc, I feel so much better just getting to vent a bit...Perhaps I forgot to mention that my toe ACHES.

Doctor:  Ms. Sweet Tea, take some Ibuprofen and quit whining about your toe.
You.Big.Baby.  You have friends who are battling cancer and there are people in an Atlanta hospital with Ebola.

Sweet Tea:  Oh, Doctor, I wanted to talked to you about the goofball who decided to bring Ebola into our country.  I'm worried about that too.

Doctor:  Ms. Tea, your time is up.


Susie said...

Sweet Tea, So funny and so sad. I hate that your toe is broke, hurt, falling off. LOL.. I would not want to be in your shoes while you are trying to explain the unexplainable to your mom...I remember one episode where my mom had a mini stroke and could not understand a darn thing...she came out of it Thank the Lord. But it was just hard to take...like you said unending questions. I miss my mother. I am sending you good wishes to get through the tough times and that your toe heals. xoxo,Susie

Mari said...

Sorry about your toe! Even sorrier about your Mom. Dealing with dementia is so hard, and they seem to have a real knack for the whole guilt thing. I've seen a lot of it with my patients.
You're doing good, hang in there!

Sandra said...

So sorry about your toe. It's got to be so hard to take care of someone with dementia, especially when it is your own mother. You are a tough lady and such a good daughter :)

yaya said...

Feet, back, and teeth...when any of those hurt, life sucks! I can't imagine how hard it is with your Mom. I hope the break will give you some time for yourself and family. I'm assuming you got treatment for the toe. Bandage, or taping it up to stabilize it and let it heal can help. Hugs and prayers to you.

Linda said...

Thanks for making me laugh! Hope your toe is better by the time you leave...mine only hurts a little, once in a while. When we look around we can always find someone who is in worse condition than us. I do not envy your position with your mom. Thankfully we did not have to go through that. It's so CRUEL that our loving parents can turn into mean people that we do not know. God Bless you and have a safe trip!

Tammy said...

I feel your pain, my husbands Mom had dementia too. There is now reasoning to be done and sadly your feel awful, but truly you shouldn't. As for that toe, dog gone girl I'd whine as well. Take care and try not to stress to much. I think it's time for a break and it will, in the long run, be good for you to have some time without Mom. Hugs!!

Linda said...

I fully understand what your dealing with. (and I am sorry about the toe!!)--my mil has dementia and some of the things that come out..ugh..well..never mind..Keeping you in prayer. Blessings

G Dazeez said...

Your post had me laughing! What a funny conversation, it will keep me laughing all day! I feel for your situation with your loved one, I have a friend who was diagnosed with a medical situation and her personality has completely changed. I find my self in tense situations with her and have to remind my self of what a great person she was prior. Sometimes I just have to walk away because her anger is overwhelming. I feel stuck between the before and the after. Dazee

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marejohn said...

Aw Deb, I think of you often...it's not easy on many levels. Bless your heart! Mom will be fine but I do know it has to hurt when she doesn't "get it."
Try to relax and enjoy your time (I'm with ya on the traveling-not a fan although I'm glad AFTER I'm back that I DID go.)
Hope the toe is better too! With injuries like that it seems it is all one can think of!!

Linda said...

I think you need something STRONGER!!!!!

Sue said...

very lovely post....Your actually very lucky without probably knowing it....It sounds like a good thing that someone stepped in with the decision on taking care of your mom. Maybe Moms are easier to take care of then Dads....my father in law had dementia as well but no one would assist us in even taking away is drivers license. He was 89...he would take his phone off the hook for days and days and when we would call the police he would throw them out. His house had temperatures hovering in the 90's and he had spoiled food in the fridge. His treating doctor told us to mind our own business because that was the "lifestyle" he chose. Very frustrating to deal with when your 1,000 miles away. He refused to leave his home. One night he called 911 when he saw dead people in his bedroom. They committed him to the state hospital and we could not get him out due to HIPPA since he refused to sign papers for us to see his medical records. It was a nightmare. He passed away after 15 days and until the day he died he thought we put him there....God bless you and the Mom....she's right where she belongs.

Relyn Lawson said...

You make me laugh!

Hope you are enjoying a marvelous trip and smooching that Grand Niece a lot!

nancygrayce said...

I laugh although I so understand that guilt thing! Hope that poor toe feels better!

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