SWEET TEA

Monday, September 7, 2009

Identify ALL Jerks!

I'm thinkin' there should be a universal sign that would warn people when a
J-E-R-K
is in their midst.


Perhaps an identifying HAT would be the way to go.


Or maybe a no-frills shirt.


Or better yet, perhaps a Buzzer
could and should be placed under their skin
(you can decide
exactly "where" and under what skin
it should be implanted).
Said Buzzer could be set to BUZZZZZ
loudly when the Jerk
was in the presence of normal folk.


I didn't just wake up this morning and begin to think about Jerks. My thought process actually began when our family (of 3) went to see a movie this afternoon...

The movie was fairly crowded and I approached a row where there were 3 empty seats. I asked the gentleman JERK seated next to the three empty seats if the seats were saved. He replied "yes". I turned to walk away and heard him turn to his wife and say "yea, they're saved for my popcorn".
GRRRRRRR!!!
What a JERK!
Had he been adorned with a
Jerk Hat,
Jerk Shirt,
or a Jerk Buzzer
I would have known to stay far away from him

We moved on and found even better seats,
but later I saw 3 more people approach
him about the seats - I couldn't hear what
he said but they turned and walked away.
So I think it's fair to conclude he told
them they were "saved".
Thinking about this makes me mad.
But, it also makes me sad 'cause
obviously this middle-aged guy
had a wife (or a date),
and probably there are people who
must deal with him on a daily basis.

I'm just sayin' that life would be
a lot simpler if you knew
right-up-front
when you were dealin' with a JERK
rather than having to find out
through social or business interaction.

8 comments:

mbkatc230 said...

Maybe we could have Brad Pitt "tattoo" them the way he did the Nazis in Inglorious Basterds. Just a thought. Kathy

Gladys said...

Kahuna and I went to the movies this afternoon too. I promise it was not us. There was a female jerk that when asked by 3 sweet little old ladies if she would mind moving so they could sit together acted as if they just asked her for her only remaining kidney. Women can be jerks too right? Or do we just call them twunts?

ChocDrop said...

I would appreciate the buzzer....then I don't have to get as close....lol

♥georgie♥ said...

Thats just awful and just one of the many reasons i do not go to movie theaters...people will never cease to amaze me...I am sorry that happened to you

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

That's so very rude but then, you could've accidentally threw popcorn at his head from where you sat until he got so bugged he had to move anyway.

The Head Eagle said...

Boo to the jerks! I love your idea of tagging them all!

Mid-Atlantic Martha said...

Oh yes! It would be so nice to have some warning -- WARNING! WARNING! JERK APPROACHING! Problem is - they almost never recognize themselves!

Kimmy said...

Ewwww!! I can't stand people like that. It's like they are so miserable in life that they have to make others just as miserable to make themselves feel better. Not only are they jerks, but they have also earned the title of PATHETIC!!

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